Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Is there such a thing as being “too real”?

So, this morning, I got accused of having pity parties for myself on FB.  I know there are people who make up an internet presence for themselves that has absolutely nothing to do with who they are – maybe it’s representative of the person they want or aspire to be, I don’t know.  For me, though, I’ve always just tried to be myself.  Pictures that I share of my family and my house, etc. – they’re always unedited, so you can see the dust, the mess, and the craziness!  My statuses are true and real – if I’m having a good day, you’ll know it; if I’m feeling down, I’ll share that too; or, like so many FB users, I share my long to-do list on any given day! I don’t try to hide behind a mask – even though there are times I wish I could.

So, I’m just curious --- is there such a thing as being “too real”?  And what do you prefer?  Do you want your internet friends to be themselves, or do you want them to hide behind pretense and just act like the person they might want to be (even though you know or suspect they are nothing like that “in real life”)?  Do you want them to hide all the “bad stuff”?  The last I read my Bible, it said that we are to “weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice” (my paraphrase).  To me, that means to be ready and willing to take the good with the  bad.  Hmmm . . .

I know it’s kind of a crazy question, but I’d really like some feedback on this one.  So, comment away!


~ Denise ~ said...

I believe there's such a thing as being too "open" in regard to personal things (like venting about people in/outside your family or whatever for all the world to see and naming names while you do it--which is bad and nothing short of gossip).

However, I am personally *inspired* by those who "tell it like it is", no matter what that means on any given day. I wish I could do that!

Many times in the past, I was shot down for being too open as well. (Back then it was all on my blog--FB wasn't around yet.) It stung of course, and made me go back and delete my post(s). I didn't want to risk offending anyone by being too open, honest--and sometimes very raw. Depending upon the situation.

So now I only write when I've got something funny or very general to say. Writing from the heart only takes place with a select few.

However, after this last birthday of mine (ahem) I kind of reached an epiphany of sorts. I've lived far too long bowing before the opinions of others. If someone doesn't like what I have to say, that's fine. I don't necessarily like everything someone else says, either. ;) And that's okay! We're called (just as you pointed out) to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. We can't do that unless we're honest about what we're going through. Doing anything less denies someone the blessing of being an encouragement.


ham1299 said...

Be real. You can be tactful in your realness, but still be real. If someone doesn't like it, they can choose not to follow your posts! ;-)

Shannon said...

I vote for "real". Life comes with ups and downs. If those people don't like it, they don't have to read it. Be yourself. I like you. :)

Heidi... said...


It's hard to be real because of other people. I struggle because of other people see me different than I am. They chose to see me through their lens and their "ideal". When I am myself but fail to measure up to their standards of me, somehow I have failed.

I've wanted to blog this idea for a while but I have lacked the guts because I know I'll get fallout for it. I struggle with insecurity a lot because I let others view of me overshadow Jesus' view of me. Every single time I read through the Gospels, I am struck anew of how much He loves me.

Thanks for inspiring and encouraging me to be myself!!


Ruth said...

Be yourself and be real. It is your blog, FB page or whatever and those who do not like what you share don't need to visit. I can never understand why someone will take the time to visit a blog or FB page when they only have negative things to say. It does not make sense to me. Share what you feel is on your heart and you need to share.

Thank you for stopping by my blog and for your sweet comment. You can see what's been keeping us busy.

Hugs & Miss you,

Tristan said...

I like tactfully real. ;) I want to know the good and the bad, but keep what should be private to your self. That would be marital issues (they belong between you, your spouse, and possibly your church leadership), and knocking in-laws is never a great idea, no matter how much they may deserve it...LOL.

I want to hear about your best days, your good days, your inbetween days, and your bad days because I have all the above and can relate to you more when I know you do too.

Okay, there is my 2cents! Time to go homeschool some more.

Michele said...

I much prefer people to be real. I like knowing that others do have bad days, days that aren't picture perfect, days where no school gets done etc. It gives me a sense that I am not alone when I am having a down day or when something dosen't go as planned. I love seeing all the great things going on but sometimes it is nice knowing you are not alone out there!

Gina said...

I am very real but am also careful about what I share and when. Anything I put on my blog or facebook is very real but I don't share it all. In life I'm that way too. Jesus had 12 but had 3 that we're closer...I take my cue from that. Some information is not for everyone only for those "3".

Have you recovered from Cinci yet...I'm still working on it!

Nikki said...

I believe it is refreshing to be around "real" people. I also believe the world is longing for us (Christians) to simply be real (honest). Life is hard, painful, challenging, and sometimes dirty. David was pretty honest with God about his current emotional state in the Psalms.
I say, "Keep it real!" :)

Penny said...

Authentic. I like that. Be real.

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