Choosing to SEE

In December of 2006, my mom and I were in Vietnam adopting Ian.  The only way we had to communicate with those back home was via e-mail (that might not be entirely true, but I’ll confess that hearing the girls’ voices on the phone would have reduced me to a big ball of homesick mush – so I opted for e-mail communication only). 

I recall sitting down at one of the computers in the hotel lobby, and seeing an e-mail from Brian about Shaohannah’s Hope (now called Show Hope).  We had applied for a grant months earlier and had pretty much assumed we hadn’t been chosen.  But, while I was 1/2 way around the world, Brian received the letter that we had been chosen.  Could the timing have been any more perfect?!  It was a total God-thing.

I remember applying for the grant and feeling such a connection with the Chapman family.  Anyone who has adopted probably knows what I mean.  Adoptive families just somehow connect with other adoptive families (I also see this in the homeschool community).  There’s a shared bond there.  I had followed them through their own adoption journeys.  I appreciated seeing them as “real” people and not so much famous, out-of-reach people.

About a year after returning home with Ian, we were invited to help work in a Shaohannah’s Hope booth at a local venue where Steven was performing.  We jumped at the chance, even being told that we wouldn’t get to meet him.  After all, we had received a grant from them, and this was a great opportunity to give something back.  We had forgotten to take our camera with us, so grabbed a disposal on the way – just in case.  As it turned out, we did get to go backstage after the concert and meet Steven!  (that’s the short story)

I was amazed by how down to earth and genuine he was.  It was late and we were all tired – I’m sure he more than the rest of us, after having just performed on stage for hours.  But, he took the time to interact with all of us – right down to noticing Gracie’s shoes and commenting that his daughter had the exact same pair!  I asked if they shop at Target and he said “all the time!”

When their sweet Maria went home to be with Jesus, I wept for their family.  I felt as though I had lost a part of my own family and I couldn’t even begin to fathom the depth of their pain and suffering.  What a tragedy! 

This past Mother’s Day, Ashley blessed me with Choosing to See by Mary Beth Chapman.  Can I just say “WOW!” What a great book!

Grief is a journey many of us take at one time or another. For the Chapman family their journey began with the accidental death of their 5 year old daughter, Maria Sue, whom they adopted from China. In Choosing to SEE, Mary Beth Chapman shares her struggles with the tragic loss of Maria Sue, her journey to heal, and the unexpected path God has placed her on. Even as difficult as life can be, Mary Beth and the Chapmans choose to see with faith and hope. Foreword by Steven Curtis Chapman.

“I've told my kids for years that God doesn't make mistakes," writes Mary Beth Chapman, wife of Grammy award winning recording artist Steven Curtis Chapman. "Would I believe it now, when my whole world as I knew it came to an end?" Covering her courtship and marriage to Steven Curtis Chapman, struggles for emotional balance, and living with grief, Mary Beth's story is our story--wondering where God is when the worst happens. In Choosing to SEE, she shows how she wrestles with God even as she has allowed him to write her story--both during times of happiness and those of tragedy. Readers will hear firsthand about the loss of her daughter, the struggle to heal, and the unexpected path God has placed her on. Even as difficult as life can be, Mary Beth Chapman Chooses to SEE. Includes a 16-page full color photo insert.

I just absolutely devoured this book! I so appreciated Mary Beth’s openness and honesty.  She shared things that I know had to be very difficult to share.  But, in doing so, she made herself very real. 

The Chapman family has suffered great loss.  And the pain is still very fresh and still very much affecting their daily lives.  But, it’s so great to see them laying their lives at the feet of Jesus and their willingness to serve God through their pain.  I believe that God is using this entire family in a mighty way. 

While this book will be of particular interest to those who have adopted and/or those who have suffered loss, I believe that everyone would gain by reading it.  I know I sure did!  And the bond I felt with this sweet family before has deepened.  I don’t know that I’ll ever have opportunity to meet any of the rest of the Chapman family in this lifetime, but I’m planning a big hug for Mary Beth when we meet in heaven.  And I’m looking forward to seeing their sweet Maria Sue (I wonder if she’s hanging with my friend Sue?)!

Adoption Nation by Adam Pertman ~ and a giveaway!

CONTEST CLOSED!  The winners are commenters 10 and 13.  Congratulations!

Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution is Transforming Our Families – and America (The Harvard Common Press, April 2011, 352 pages, ISBN 978-1-55832-716-0, $16.95 paperback) takes on the challenge of explaining the historic changes enveloping us all – and does so with a unique combination of engaging prose, gripping stories, insightful perspective and exceptional research.

Its author, Adam Pertman, is one of the most influential experts in his field and Adoption Nation has been called “the most important book ever written on the subject.”

Inspired by his Pulitzer-nominated series while a reporter with the Boston Globe, the first edition of Adoption Nation (2000) captured an important piece of U.S. history and was a game-changer for child welfare professionals, policy-makers, and members of what Pertman calls “the extended family of adoption” (adopted individuals, birth and adoptive relatives).

The new, fully revised edition updates the “adoption revolution” with all of its joys and disappointments, its personal and policy issues, its complexities and controversies.

“There’s no exaggerating how much has occurred over the last decade – from the adoptive mother who recently ‘returned’ her son to Russia, to the children orphaned by the earthquake in Haiti; from the ongoing debate over transracial adoptions, to the still-unregulated Wild West of adoption on the Internet; from the decline in secrecy and shame in adoption, to the explosion of reunions between adopted people and their birth families; and from the precipitous drop in international adoptions to the soaring rise in adoptions of boys and girls from foster care, including by growing numbers of gay and lesbian parents,” said Pertman. “When I looked at the landscape, I felt compelled to do a thorough rewrite of the stories, of the research and of the phenomenon itself.”

More comprehensive, more up-to-date, more moving – and more useful – than any other book on the subject, the new edition of Adoption Nation is an invaluable resource for prospective and current parents and their children. And it is a passionate call-to-arms for equality and social justice, as well as a unique tool for educators, policymakers and professionals.

ADAM PERTMAN is the Executive Director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, the pre-eminent research, policy and education organization in its field. A highly sought-after speaker, Pertman has delivered hundreds of keynotes, trainings and other presentations internationally, and is the recipient of many awards for his work. He is the Associate Editor of Adoption Quarterly and has contributed to numerous publications on family issues. Pertman is widely quoted by journalists and has appeared as a guest on “Oprah,” “Today,” “The View,” “Nightline,” among other national programs. Before embarking on his current career, Pertman was a senior journalist with The Boston Globe for over two decades. He is a member of the Council on Contemporary Families, the editorial advisory board of Adoptive Families magazine, the National Adoption Advisory Committee of the Child Welfare League of America and the Advisory Board of Orphans International, among others. He lives in Massachusetts with his wife and their two children. Learn more at www.adampertman.com.   

Heidi Says . . . as an adoptive parent myself, I was anxious to the opportunity to see and review this book.  I had never seen the previous version of it, so don’t have anything to compare this edition to, but this  book is BIG and FULL.  It’s divided into 3 main sections (each section containing 3 chapters):

• Don’t Whisper, Don’t Lie – It’s Not a Secret Anymore
  Adoption is no longer the hush-hush thing that it once was.  More and more children are being adopted that it’s becoming a way of life.  I bet that most every family out there knows of at least one other family whose lives have been touched by adoption in some way.  No more secrecy, people, let’s shout it from the mountaintops!
• Sensitive Issues, Lifelong Process
  This section covers issues such as why people chose to adopt and some of the issues that may arise in adopted kids (seeking identify,  etc.)
• Tough Challenges in a Promising Future
  This section covers those topics that are often not covered – such as the “problems” with the foster care system in the U.S. these days, the costs involved in adoption and why they are so high, and how adoption has changed over the years. 

I have THREE COPIES of this book to give away and would really like to give it to ADOPTIVE FAMILIES or FAMILIES IN-PROCESS or CONSIDERING ADOPTION.  If you fit into one of those categories, please simply leave a comment on this post telling me why this book appeals to you.  That’s it – no extra entries this time! 

I’ll draw 3 random winners next Monday, April 11th, at noon (EST).

NOTE: I received a free copy of this book in order to write this post. I was not influenced in any way nor did I receive any further compensation. The giveaway copies will be provided by the publisher.

“What do you have to show for it in 10 years?”

The other morning, as I was laying in bed, the idea for this post came to me.  I would have posted it yesterday (as the goal has been to post something on my blog each day this month) – but, unfortunately, I ended up with the flu.  Ugh!  Anyway - - -

In the fall of 1998, my best friend Sue and I were working the Home & Garden Party booth at the local fair.  We saw a lady pushing a little Asian girl in a stroller. Sue knew that I had a heart for adoption (and we had lost a baby the year before due to an ectopic pregnancy).  She really encouraged me to strike up a conversation with the lady. 

She gave me the name of the adoption agency she had used – we ended up using that same agency for Gracie’s adoption.  But, something she said really stuck with me.  She said “You could go out and spend the same amount of money on a new car; but what would you have to show for it in 10 years?” 

I talked the other week about our van, and the fact that we’re going to need to replace it.  Thinking of that reminded me of the conversation I had at the fair.  It all came back to me.  In October of 2000, Brian and I traveled to Vietnam to adopt Gracie.  During that same time, my parents bought the van. 

10 years (and a few months) later, though it still looks just fine, we really don’t have much to show for the van.  However, we have this:

Sure, adoption is a big expense.  It might require some juggling of the finances, and some sacrifices.  But, let me be the first to tell you, IT’S WORTH IT!  So much more worth it than any car!

(I’m dating this post for yesterday – because I had good intentions!)

Ransomed by Els Van Hierden

Hundreds of thousands of orphans have been left homeless and abandoned as a result of the fall of the Communist era. Left to fend for themselves or locked up in state orphanages, the children have little hope for the future. Yet in the middle of suicide, alcoholism, and drug abuse, hope emerges. David Valensky, a successful US businessman who has experienced terrible personal loss, pours his life into reaching the homeless teens on the streets of Perm, Russia. But as the ministry grows, tragedy unfolds, threatening its very existence.

Karina Svetlana, a morose orphanage director with a dark past, meets David during his orphanage outreach. Will David be able to reach her with the Gospel and break the chains that hold her captive? And will their fledging love survive the storm that envelopes David's ministry?

Jared and Vanessa Williams travel to Russia to adopt a child, excited to bring home a new son. Can they cope with what they find in Russia and the devastating news that leaves their faith shattered?

Based on the author's personal experience in Russia, this novel will not only captivate and intrigue, but change your heart.

Els Van Hierden has had a life-long passion for writing, which resulted in the publication of her first novel Ransomed.

In 2005, Els and her husband Edward traveled to Russia for the adoption of their fifth child. As the year drew to a close, and their first attempt at adoption had failed, Els asked God to use her difficult experience to inspire adoptive parents and to help orphans. Following this prayer, the plot of Ransomed was born in her heart. During the writing of this novel, Els and her husband returned to Russia to complete the adoption of their wonderful son, Mark.

Since then, Els and her family had the opportunity to travel to Romania for five weeks and serve there with a mission team. Els' goal is to see kids in poverty blessed with food, clothing, and an education, but above all with the Good News of Jesus Christ.

Els and her family live in Lethbridge, Canada, where they own an equestrian centre. She oversees the day to day operations of the centre, homeschools two of her five children, and is a Certified Equine Therapist. She is certified through Strategic Life Alignment as a conference speaker, helping people find God's call for their life. Els enjoys speaking to groups, and working with women. Els and her family like camping in the mountains with their horses, spending time at their ranch, and traveling.

I picked up this book during a time in my life when I was having trouble getting into any other books.  (Those who are familiar with me and my blog know this doesn’t happen very often!)  Ransomed pulled me right in! I was hooked after just the first few pages and found that I could hardly put this book down.  I read it in just a few short days, staying up late to finish it. 

Though Ransomed is the first novel written by Els Van Hierden, it certainly doesn’t read that way! It’s very well-written.  The characters are easy to understand and relate to and the descriptions of the area have you easily imagining it in your mind as you read. 

I was especially drawn to the character of David – he’s been through so much trial and hardship in his life, yet he continues to look to God for guidance and to seek His will for his life.  This isn’t always easy to do – especially when it means turning your back on a new love,  or on the only life you’ve ever known to serve God.

Being a fellow adoptive parent, I also enjoyed the adoption story that was taking place as sort of the “backburner storyline” in this book.  I could relate to Jared and Vanessa and the various ups and downs of the emotional roller coaster of adoption. 

I will recommend and share this book and will certainly consider reading future books by this author.

NOTE: This book was provided to me by The Winepress Group in exchange for my honest thoughts on it.

Forever Lily by Beth Nonte Russell

"Will you take her?" she asks.

 When Beth Nonte Russell travels to China to help her friend Alex adopt a baby girl from an orphanage there, she thinks it will be an adventure, a chance to see the world. But her friend, who had prepared for the adoption for many months, panics soon after being presented with the frail baby, and the situation develops into one of the greatest challenges of Russell's life.
Russell, watching in disbelief as Alex distances herself from the child, cares for the baby -- clothing, bathing, and feeding her -- and makes her feel secure in the unfamiliar surroundings. Russell is overwhelmed and disoriented by the unfolding drama and all that she sees in China, and yet amid the emotional turmoil finds herself deeply bonding with the child. She begins to have dreams of an ancient past -- dreams of a young woman who is plucked from the countryside and chosen to be empress, and of the child who is ultimately taken from her. As it becomes clear that her friend -- whose indecisiveness about the adoption has become a torment -- won't be bringing the baby home, Russell is amazed to realize that she cannot leave the baby behind and that her dreams have been telling her something significant, giving her the courage to open her heart and bring the child home against all odds.
Steeped in Chinese culture, Forever Lily is an extraordinary account of a life-changing, wholly unexpected love.
Beth Nonte Russell received a master's degree in psychology from Marymount University and provided counseling services at a community mental health center. She lives with her husband and two daughters, Lily and Jaden, outside Washington, D.C.
This book was not what I expected it to be.  When I received the review request for this one, I was excited.  It has been a while since I've had opportunity to review an adoption-related book here on my blog; and I do like to make sure that I have adoption content here to share - especially with people who may be contemplating adoption and looking for reading material.
I know, from our times in Vietnam, that situations like the one portrayed in this book really do happen.  To me, it seems unreal and impossible.  But, I've heard tales of mothers who rejected their new babies because the baby bonded with the father and not the mother; or, like the perspective adoptive mother in this  book, the baby "just wasn't what they expected".  It seems ridiculous to me, though.  I will admit that, when I first laid eyes on Gracie, she wasn't what I expected either - her face was covered in a rash and her head was mishapen (due to bottle propping).  But, within a matter of minutes, she was mine; and I could have never given her up!  So, though I'm sure the author meant to portray Alex in a light that would make us question her motives, I'm left with many questions that went unanswered in the pages of the book.  What was wrong with the baby that she could just decide that she didn't want her?
I enjoyed the China-adoption-related storylines in this book.  The Chinese culture, the adoption trip itself, the trip the see the baby's orphanage, etc. - I found that all extremely interesting and was able to tie it with similarities of my own Vietnam adoption adventures.  I appreciated Beth's descriptions of her feelings for this baby - how quickly she was able to feel a bond with her and the  strong desire in her heart to make this baby her own.
However, as most of my readers are Christians, I need to point out that this is NOT a Christian book.  Actually, I'm not sure exactly what religion this book would tie into.  There are references to praying, and there's a time that God is mentioned (with a capital "G"), but Buddha is also mentioned, chatting with a "spiritual advisor", meditation, etc. along with some other ideas that are just very foreign to me as a Christian.  Throughout the story, Beth shares dream sequences.  All along, I thought that her dreams seemed a bit too vivid to be real, and I found myself actually skimming over  them, or skipping them altogether at times. The dreams were just extremely odd.  Toward the end of the book, you find out that she believes that these dreams are actually remembrances of a past life that she lived.  Hello?!  I just don't buy that. 
Because of the things mentioned in the previous paragraph, I will not be inclined to recommend this book.

Masterpiece of Joy by Bobbi Grubb

This book is a testament to the handiwork and faithfulness of God to his believers~ those who put their faith and trust in Him and are willing to wait for His timing to be revealed.  This book is an adoption story, yes;  but it is so much more.  As you read through the pages of Masterpiece of Joy, you will feel as though you know Steve and Bobbi Grubb as close friends.  You will journey with them through the  valleys of infertility and, eventually, share with them the mountaintop experience that is adoption. 

• Are you facing infertility?


• Is someone you love walking through this devastating ordeal?


• Have you considered open adoption, but still have uncertainties?


• Are you facing an unplanned pregnancy and considering your options?


• Are there trials in your life that just seem impossible to overcome?

If you can answer "yes" to any of these questions, then I would highly recommend picking up a copy of this  book.  If you have ever waited a very long time for something, you know how very difficult the waiting can become, and you've probably found yourself questioning God.  I'm relating this book to the story of Abram and Sarai~ God had promised them a child (actually, the promise was much greater~ that their descendants would  be as numerous as the stars in the sky);  but after waiting 10 years, Sarai decided that she just couldn't wait anymore and decided to "take matters into her own hands", with staggering consequences.  We find that it's sometimes easier to take over, rather than to "let go and let God". 

Steve and Bobbi Grubb struggled through infertility for 10 years!  Sure, they had times of questioning;   but their faith never wavered~ they continued to pray and they continued to trust.  I could so totally relate to the feelings, the questions, and the experiences that they went through as I, too, have walked a similar path through infertility.  The ways in which we eventually added children to our families are different~ I adopted my children internationally (which is more of a closed-adoption), while Bobbi's children were received into their family  through open adoptions.  Either way, the miracle of adoption is the same~ lives are blessed and God's handiwork is revealed.  I enjoyed reading of another family's adoption experience and learning more about open adoptions (which, I must confess, have scared me in the past);  and, trust me, Bobbi has covered ALL the details of their journey!  I'm a detail-oriented person;  so I enjoyed this immensely. 

 Something my readers here at Homeschoolblogger might appreciate is the fact that Bobbi is also a homeschooling mom!  In addition to homeschooling her two sons, she does adoption counseling and serves on the board of directors for a crisis pregnancy center.

For more information on Masterpiece of Joy, click here.  This  book is available through Barnes & Noble and Amazon.com.  The publisher also has this  book available in e-book format~ this is especially good for those of you, like me, who have no patience and can't wait for shipping! 

 

Adoption Parenting edited by Jean MacLeod and Sheena Macrae, PhD

Earlier this week, I received an assortment of adoption-related books from EMK Press for review.  Two were children's books (see sidebar~ reviews forthcoming) and the third was an awesome adoption resource book called Adoption Parenting.  This book is a compilation of ideas and writings from over 100 adoptive parents, adoption experts, adoptees, and parenting specialists.  It gives ideas for "creating a toolbox" of information and resources for parenting your adopted child.  It covers every age and stage from birth through pre-adolesence.

I took this book along with me on a roadtrip today and was very impressed!  One thing that really caught my attention was part of the description on the back of the book: "This book is a wealth of information for the family newly arrived home as well as the more experienced one.  It's a book you won't read all at once, but will come back to again and again as your child's understanding and awareness of who they are develops and your experience in parenting expands."  Chapters in the book include Getting Started, Language, Food, Learning & School (yes, there's even a section on homeschooling!), Race, Challenges (physical & emotional), Support, Journey, and many more.  This book covers both the joys and the challenges of adoption parenting.  People who have "been there, done that" share their experiences in a candid way.  There are suggestions for further books to read and share with your children, as well as lists of websites for further information on many topics.

I was reading sections of it out loud to my mom.  My parents adopted 2 little boys from Korea in 1985~ they're now all grown up and both are married (one even has 3 little boys of his own!)  Still, there were things in this book that related to them!  We enjoyed reading them, and discussing things that we remembered about their adoption~ their initial reactions to things, the language barrier, and how quickly they learned the English language, etc.  Of course, there were also things that relate to issues that I am dealing with as an adoptive parent today~ how to answer questions that 7 year olds can come up with, and how to deal with those sleepless nights.  Things I had never thought of were brought to my attention in this book~ for example: many abandoned children were abandoned at night, under cover of darkness, possibly creating an underlying fear of the dark, causing sleeping problems. 

This book puts me in mind of various health-related and parenting books that I have seen in the past.  The difference is that it is ALL about adoption parenting~ all 502 pages devoted to issues to adoptive parents deal with on a day-to-day basic.  The book cover states that "it's an indispensable resource that no adoptive family should be without."  I couldn't agree more.  Now that I have this  book in my possession, I know it's one that I will refer to over and over again in the months and years to come.  If you are an adoptive parent (or thinking of becoming one), I strongly urge you to consider picking up a copy of this book for your home library.  It may very well be the only adoption/parenting book you'll ever need.

Carried Safely Home by Kristin Swick Wong

Recently, I have been so blessed. My review of the book The Adoption Network by Laura Christianson has opened so many doors for me. Through that review, I was blessed to meet Susan TeBos, co-author of Before You Were Mine. And, via Susan's website, I was introduced to Kristin Swick Wong, a fellow adoptive parent (of 2 children from Vietnam) and the author of Carried Safely Home. This book would become the third adoption-related book that I've had the honor of reviewing in just a few short weeks! It's hard to believe that I was feeling like it would be impossible for me to start an adoption ministry~ as it turns out, I've started one right here on my blog! Sometimes I think that when we feel the most inadequate, that's when God begins opening doors. You'll see, in my right sidebar, that I've recently become a member of a new online group called Adoption Writers~ be on the lookout for some more reviews of adoption-related books coming soon to my blog (as a direct result of that group!)

Anyway, back to my regularly scheduled review.........

Carried Safely Home by Kristin Swick Wong was a blessing to read! This book is not a self-help or do-it-yourself type book. Rather, it is an uplifting and encouraging book, written for and by an adoptive parent.

Kristin and her husband are the parents of four beautiful children~ two girls by birth, and two boys by adoption. This book really touched me, as her sons are both adopted from Vietnam, as are my two youngest children.

Kristin shares her adoption experiences in this book. But, it's not "just another story of someone else's adoption experience". Woven throughout the book are references from Scripture, relating the adoption experience directly to God's view of adoption and His adoption of us as His children. For every experience and feeling and thought that Kristin went through, she has tied it to a Scriptural reference. I was very impressed! As I was reading through it, I was remembering back to similar times in our adoption processes, to the things that I was thinking and feeling, and the ways in which I dealt with those feelings.

Because of that, I feel that this book would be fantastic for anyone who has adopted, as you can easily read it and relate to the things that Kristin is talking about throughout the book. However, I really feel that this book needs to be in the hands of every person who is thinking about adoption or is currently in the process. Though not marketed as a devotional-type book, I would highly recommend this as a daily read. I wish I had had this book when we were in the adoption process. I would have kept it by my bed, along with my Bible, and read a chapter of it each night. I think it would be a great way for in-the-process adoptive parents to end their day. If you've been there, you know how hard some days of the wait can be; what a way to end your day~ being reminded of God's perfect plan!

Through adoption, we can learn so very much about God, and about His plan for our lives. He makes some things perfectly clear to us in His Word~ one of those things is our responsibility to widows and orphans~ that might very well include taking an orphan into your home as your own. After all, isn't that exactly what God did for YOU when He accepted you as His son or daughter?

If you or someone you know is in the process of adopting a child, please consider purchasing this book. It would make a wonderful gift!

For more information on the book, and to read a note from Kristin to her readers, click here.

The Adoption Network by Laura Christianson

I am so excited!  My blog is the first stop on Laura Christianson's BLOG BOOK TOUR!  

In my last post, I talked about a book called The Adoption Network by Laura Christianson.  Laura has another new book coming in August, The Adoption Decision.  I had the privilege of asking Laura a few questions about her up-and-coming book and her adoption story.  I'm honored to be able to share the following interview with you!  After reading it, I hope you will take the time to check out Laura's blog and website, and pick up a copy of one or both of her books.  Who knows?  Maybe you'll even consider adoption or how you might be able to help another family in their adoption process.  God bless!  ~Heidi

Laura~

Welcome to ReviewsbyHeidi!  I’m so excited to have this opportunity to “chat” with you about your new book – The Adoption Decision – coming in August!

I’d love to ask you a few questions…..

 

First of all, it is obvious by your website and your Exploring Adoption blog that you are very passionate about adoption.  I noticed that you, like me, have two adopted children. 

 

Could you share your adoption story with us, please?

 

We adopted our sons domestically when they were newborns – they are now 14 and 11 years old. Our first adoption happened only three weeks after we completed our home study – a teenage couple selected our profile, met with us, and chose us to parent their child. Four days after we met them, our son’s birth mom gave birth. All we had was a carseat!

 

It was a different story with our second child. We waited over a year and had four potential adoptions fall through at the last minute. Talk about heart-wrenching! But our son, Josh, was definitely worth the wait. We have completely open adoptions with the birth families of both our sons. I share our story in depth throughout my book, The Adoption Decision.

 

 

 

Why did you decide to write The Adoption Decision?

 

Eleven years ago, after we adopted our second child, I was a member of Ladies in Waiting, an online Christian support group for infertile women and adoptive moms. We often discussed the crazy comments people—particularly, our relatives—made about adoption. I decided to write a short booklet to help educate adoptive grandparents about adoption, so they could better support their adult children who were adopting.

 

How did a “short booklet” morph into a 256-page book?

 

I guess I had a lot more to say than I imagined at the time! J As I researched and wrote the booklet, I realized I had enough material for a full-length book. I began attending writers’ conferences and “pitching” my book idea to agents and editors. They all said, “Nope; won’t work. Your focus is too narrow.” Over the course of three years, I continued fine-tuning my ideas and pitching them at writers’ conferences.

 

I expanded the audience to include all people who support adoptive parents (still too narrow). When I expanded the focus still further to encompass adoptive parents and their supporters, I hit the jackpot. Harvest House Publishers offered me a contract. It was one of the most exciting days of my life!

 

Can you give us a brief synopsis of the book?

 

Although the book is titled “The Adoption Decision,” it is geared for those who are just beginning to consider the idea of adopting, those going through the adoption process, and adoptive parents. Everyone who considers adopting has a host of questions and insecurities. Some common questions:

 

®        Will I be able to afford adoption?

®        Will I be able to love an adopted child as much as I would love my birth child?

®        Am I prepared to parent a child who may have medical or behavioral challenges?

®        What if the adoption falls through, or the birth parents want the child back?

®        How do I unpack the “baggage” an older child brings into my family?

 

I tackle these questions in a unique manner. I hate to read dry, boring, clinical “how to adopt” books; my goal is to entertain readers while providing them with valuable, practical information. So my book is story-based; it includes anecdotes and vignettes from more than 40 people whose lives are directly impacted by adoption. Their stories are riveting, and they are guaranteed to provide readers with an up-close-and-personal look at the realities of adoption.

 

Because every adoption is unique, I don’t tell readers that they have to “do” adoption a certain way. Instead, I provide great information in an inviting-to-read format so parents can mull over their options and choices and begin to formulate a plan that works best for their family.

 

 Was this book a result of your own adoption experiences or is it a collaboration of other peoples’ experiences as well?

 

It’s a combination of both. Most of the chapters open with a personal experience I have had with adoption. But I don’t claim to know everything about adoption – far from it! The people I interviewed share fascinating life experiences that form the backbone of the book.

 

Why did you choose to write for a Christian readership, rather than a general or secular audience?

 

Most of my professional writing has been for the secular market, so I struggled with whether to write for the general market or a Christian readership. There are loads of great “how-to” books in the general market already, and very few in the Christian market. I strongly sensed God urging me to write this book for His glory, as a means of ministering to and encouraging other adoptive families on their journey.

 

While the book is written from a Christian worldview, my publisher intends to sell it in stores such as supermarkets and big box stores. So I avoided using Christian jargon and I made the faith-based content accessible and non-threatening for those who have little or no church/Bible background.

 

What is the most important advice for someone who may be considering adoption?

 

Learn as much as you can about adoption, so that when the unforeseen happens (and it will happen), you’ll be slightly more prepared. Read as many adoption books as possible, subscribe to magazines such as Adoptive Families and Adoption TODAY, peruse adoption blogs, subscribe to e-mail discussion groups specific to the type(s) of adoption you are considering, request information packets from all the adoption agencies and facilitators in your region, join support groups for adoptive families, and pummel other adoptive parents with questions! Most of us truly enjoy sharing our experiences – we’ve been where you are and know what you’re feeling. Educating yourself about adoption will give you confidence and will equip you with the practical tools you need to build your family through adoption.

 

Your Exploring Adoption blog is a veritable treasure trove of adoption information!  I really enjoying reading it and exploring the many links.  I appreciate that you are always “up” on the latest adoption news.  Thanks so much for taking the time to answer my questions.  I look forward to reading your book and doing a review of it in an up-and-coming blog post.

 

Please tell my readers where they can pre-order a copy of your book.

 

It was fun sharing with your readers, Heidi! If you want autographed copies of The Adoption Decision or my other newly-released book, The Adoption Network, you can order them directly through my Website, www.laurachristianson.com. I’m currently running a buy-1-get-1-free special on The Adoption Network (which has already been released).

 

You can pre-order The Adoption Decision (which will be available in late July or early August) from your local bookstore or Christian bookstore and on Amazon.com, TapestryBooks.com (the online adoption bookstore), Christianbook.com, BarnesandNoble.com – all the usual outlets.

 

Again, thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to “chat” with me!  It’s been a pleasure!