Friday Flashback #11

Here is this week’s Friday Flashback Prompt:

Do you have siblings? (If not, keep reading - I'll get to you.) How many and are they boys or girls? Where do you fall in the birth order? How did you view your "spot" in the family compared with the others? If you are the oldest, did you resent the things the youngest got to do that you didn't? If the youngest, what did you want to do like the older ones? And if you are more of a middle child, how did that impact you? How do you think your birth order shaped your personality? Did you and your siblings like each other growing up or did you fight all the time? Are you close now? Or at least friends with each other?! What memories stand out about you and your siblings?

If you are an only child, how did you like that? Were you glad to have all the attention or did you want to have a brother or sister? What advantages were there to being an only child? What disadvantages? Which side of the fence is greener?!

For everyone, did your sibling experiences (or lack thereof!) affect your decision to have kids or to have a certain number?

And my answer:

I’ve shared a bit about my sibling experience in the past, so this may be a repeat for some of my readers ---

I spent the first (almost) 15 years of my life as an only child. My parents wanted more children, but it never seemed to work out.  So, in 1983, the started attending some workshops/classes for adoption.  They were wanting to adopt ONE GIRL between the ages of 5-8.  The adoption agency said that was too tight of an age range, so they changed it to 3-12, or something like that.  After many weeks of these classes and looking through many, many photos of children who were available for adoption, they just weren’t getting a clear signal from God on what to do.  Then, one week, pictures were passed around of TWO BOYS (from Korea).  My mom just passed them on; but, after the class, my dad went and got the pictures and brought them back to her.  These boys were to be my brothers.

We went to the Newark, NJ airport to pick them up on January 31, 1985.  I must say that life hasn’t been the same since!  Being that I was a teenager at the time, I was pretty wrapped up in my own life; and having two little brothers (they were 5 and 7 when they first arrived) can be quite an inconvenience to a teenage girl. 

There were many times, as I watched them growing up, that I wondered what in the world my parents were thinking – they certainly weren’t that lenient with me!  I remember one specific occasion quite clearly --- my mom called to tell me that Jonathan (my youngest brother) had been in a car accident.  I was already married at the  time, but I recalled a time when I had wrecked my mom’s car and my dad was quite angry with me.  So, I was feeling pretty sorry for Jon and how Dad might have responded when he got the news.  I asked Mom and she said that he had sat Jon down and prayed with him.  What?!  Did I hear that properly?  I remember my mom saying “Dad has mellowed over the years!”  LOL  I guess so! 

My brothers are both grown up and married now as well.  David lives in a nearby town with his wife and FOUR BOYS!  Jonathan and his wife live about 2 1/2 hours away, so we don’t see them quite as often; no children yet, but I think they’re hoping for one soon. 

Having my brothers definitely shaped my opinion on siblings.  So much so that, years later when we were having problems with secondary infertility, we decided that adoption was the best option, and pursued an Asian adoption.  Now, my Ashley is the blessed big sister of two younger siblings from Vietnam. 

I will say that I think homeschooling has helped my children to be closer than I ever was with my brothers.  Because we are all together, here, every day, they have no choice but to learn to co-exist, rather than going off and living their own lives (with peers).  I’ve not yet read the book Making Brothers & Sisters Best Friends, but it’s something I’d like to read sometime soon. I think it is possible for siblings to be each other’s best friends.

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